Managing the Challenges of a Crying Baby or Toddler

Managing the Challenges of a Crying Baby or Toddler. Parents frequently ask me how to cope better with a crying baby or toddler. Crying is how babies and young children communicate their needs. They develop trust when their needs are met. Understanding the function of crying can make navigating these challenging moments a bit easier. Understanding Why Babies Cry Babies cry to express all their needs since they can't communicate in other ways. As they grow into toddlers, they cry less and start using words and body language. However, it can be distressing when you can't immediately soothe their crying. It’s important to remember that very young children don't know how their crying affects others; they simply know they need something and cry in order to get their needs met.

Tips for Managing Crying If you find it hard to cope with your baby’s crying, here are some strategies that might help:

1. Seek Experienced Advice: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from someone experienced with babies, like an early childhood nurse, a friend, or a family member.

2. Educate Yourself: Knowledge is power. Read books or attend courses about caring for babies to better understand what your baby might need.

3. Manage Your Feelings: If the crying becomes overwhelming, consider placing the baby in a safe place, like a cot, and stepping out for a few minutes to help you recompose.

• Use Supportive Tools: Carrying your baby in a sling or using a baby bjorn can sometimes soothe a fussy baby.

• Take Breaks: Regular help, such as from family or a babysitter, can give you the rest you need. If you can’t get help, you can try to find a way to take a mental break whilst still being with your child. For example by taking your child out for a walk in a pram or sling and listening to your favourite music, a podcast, or an audiobook.

• Self-Care: It’s crucial to manage your own health. Try to sleep when the baby sleeps and ensure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and exercising. You can also practice positive self-talk at times of stress (e.g. saying to yourself, ‘I am patient, I can stay calm’).

• Manage Expectations: Managing your expectations and being organised can reduce stress. Consider alternating night-time duties with another caregiver or even hiring help if needed.

4. Professional Help: If you feel overwhelmed or depressed, seeking professional help can be a crucial step towards feeling better. Normalising Crying Sometimes it is good to remember that the average crying time of babies at six weeks of age is 2-3 hours a day, with a wide range of normal. A certain amount of crying is expected. Some babies seem to be more distressed in the first few months of life than others. These babies are often described as colicky, lactose intolerant or suffering from reflux. Building a Support Network Finding a supportive community is essential. Whether it’s family, friends, or parent groups, having people to share your experiences with can make a significant difference. Additionally, resources like the Better Parent Academy can offer support and strategies through courses like "Small Changes, Big Impact" or my book, ‘Parenting in the Early Years.”

Final thoughts Coping with a crying baby or toddler is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right strategies and support, you can manage more effectively. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and to find a way to take time for yourself. You’re doing a great job, and with time, it will get easier. You’ve got this! I wish you joy in your parenting journey.